December 12, 2022

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Wick - №Z1 Slinger 9SrLcoQawhr eeuvdpd ctLhoum s0gt

> https://youtu.be/9LQhevdchm0 Scared to grow up Lust

Claire and Roxy wait in Claire's living room for the others. Harmonia joins them.

Kade appears from underneath the couch, hitting his head with a grunt as he crawls out, "Have you ever considered getting a better couch?"

Harmonia lays on top of Kade as he tries crawling out.

Claire's wearing her typical black crop top with grey sweatpants covered in blood and coolant. Roxy's wearing a black hoodie with rolled up sleeves, blue tinted round framed sunglasses, torn jeans with fishnets beneath, and combat boots. Her forearms are wrapped and she's wearing fingerless gloves. She's got on a backpack, a baseball bat poking out the top. There's rusted nails in the baseball bat. "Where's snakewhore?" Roxy asks. 

"Should I go naked" Harmonia asks casually.

"No," Claire and Roxy say in unison.

Kade screams as he's laid on. He's wearing his usual, a long sleeved shirt, some thick cargo pants, boots, although his hair looks cleaner than usual, "Probably better not to."

Ari appears on the coffee table. Harmonia starts lightly chewing on Kades hair. The water pipes creak.

Ari looks around, "What are we doing again?"

"I dunno," Harmonia shrugs.

"Meeting the Zingers of Hell!" Roxy says, excitedly.

The sink in the kitchen turns on as it fills with black water. Dren climbs out and heads to the living room with the others. Dren greets them with a smile, "Aloha!"

Ari looks at Dren, "Wait, why is the weird eyemouth cat here?"

"Dren Rose Moore you FANCIFUL beast of a man!!!!!!" Roxy smiles at Dren.

Harmonia looks over. "Wow they really look like Drake-"

"Well I mean yeah they're the new timeline's Juliet so," Claire stares at Dren, head tilted.

"You're speaking words at me and I don't understand them," Harmonia adds.

Dren puts a hand behind her head and her other hand on her hip as she poses "Fanciful and ready to get me a zinger!"

"We know who this is?" Ari asks.

"Did you never meet Drake, Ari??" Harmonia asks, still laying on Kade.

"Remember Drake or Nicole or Rose or whatever," Roxy says, "She's that but skrunglked."

"Oh it's the one I found in the bathroom," Kade mumbles.

"I own your soul, remember?" Dren says to Ari with a smile.

"Drake also gave you the 3 weed smoking girlfriends I think..." Harmonia stands up.

"Soooo we ready to go get us a zinger?" Dren smiles ear to ear.

Ari shrugs, "Well yeah, but I ran across this guy in the city. And yes, they apparently own my soul. How dangerous is this should I have some like. armor or something?"

Dren doesn't even wait for everyone's answer before she starts heading outside and to the forest.

"You survived the Abaddon fight almost a year ago, you'll be fiiiiine!" Roxy says, following Dren. Ari shrugs, and starts following Dren.

Claire looks to the others, "I love it when she references traumatizing events," and she follows.

Harmonia picks Kade up and follows.

Kade goes "Ack," as he is taken.

They all follow Dren who is waddling along the woods. As they walk the area slowly turns into a foggy sky and a forest of pine trees. Dren continues waddling as she leads them, "Zinger of slinger is a really goof. Took all my cigars and traded them for shivs."

"Am I high?" Ari asks.

"I wish," Kade sighs.

"Dastardly," Roxy adds. 

Claire says, "We should take his shivs and trade them for cigars..."

"Wait, did anyone get containers? For collecting the tears?" Kade asks.

"I probably have a container in my stomach somewhere," Harmonia comments.

"Wonderful Idea. Now this zinger is the first zinger since he guards the door to the other zingers. And hope you do, we need to make them cry and collect a tear," Dren explains, "Make a big old boohoo."

Roxy reaches into her bag for some vials and finds a couple, distributing them amongst the group, "Container :]."

"Such preparedness!" Dren smiles happily.

"Hm. Great work?" Kade is trying to ignore the fact he still feels he knows jack shit right now.

Theres no birds in the area and its eerily quiet. They reach a worn down archway with broken light bulbs. It's too washedout to read but past it looks like an abandoned carnival.

"Oh vibes," Roxy says walking towards it as Claire gazes upon it in silence. Harmonia follows. Dren waddles in and down a path. Ari shoves her hands into her jacket pockets as she looks around, a small frown on her face. Kade is following along, just keeping an eye on the surroundings.

Dren stops at a large clearing full of golden grass. On the top of a shallow hill is an old carousel. Something stands in front of it. There's a slight feeling of bad luck. Dren sits down and points at the figure, "Zinger of Lust, have fun out there wackadoodles! Make Dren proud!"

Claire walks forward towards it to try and make out what the figure looks like.

The figure slowly walks out from in front of the carousel. Its silhouette against the white sky is like an oversized moose with the velvet of its antlers handing off in patches. It seems around three stories tall and has its head turned to the side, not looking at them.

"Okay! Will do Dren" harmonia says, following Claire. Roxy takes out her bat as the air around Claire's hands slightly warmens. 

Ari pulls a pistol from its back pocket and checks it out, "So do I just...shoot at it?"

"It's a giant moose that'll be like a bug bite probably," Roxy says.

"Well what else should I do against a giant ass moose?" Ari replies.

Kade gets closer, watching the others, "So..."

The moose-like figure slowly turns its head to face them. Now facing them they see it has 3 heads, 4 antlers and a dreamcatcher made of hair weaved between them. The bad luck grows to feel sickening.

Roxy makes a connection, "Wow. Rose had some balls killing that thing last timeline I guess." She readies her bat.

"Had" Dren adds.

"You TERRIFY me," roxy mumbles. Claire starts running towards the moose.

"Hm..." Harmonia looks like she's ready to run at it as well. She decides to join and runs behind Claire. Both of them run with their arms straight out behind them.

"It's area 51 all over again..." Roxy gasps.

Kade watches them and visibly cringes, "What the fuck."

The moose stops turning as it faces them straight on. The middle head has 3 lights that cut on as its eyes. Green, blue, and red. It stays in place waiting for them.

Claire continues running as her hands catch fire. Roxy starts walking and swinging her bat intimidatingly. Just before they reach it, a screen turns on like a projection in front of it. It displays a cutesy shiba dog that pants and smiles, "Bark!Bark!"

It sounds like an old video game pixelated bark.

Claire stumbles back, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Ari is starting to run, firing a shot or two, trying to aim at the screen of the moose. Kade watches from a distance, raising an eyebrow "What."

The bullets ricochet off and it seems unaffected. Several projections and banners are displayed with happy animals singing. The word start flashes in front of the mess of images. Chaotic music plays.

Roxy and Claire scream in surprise.

Harmonia barks back but pauses. "Wait, we just need it to cry right???" She asks, stopping running.

"I WANT ITS SKULL," Roxy starts running towards it at full force, bat prepared.

Kade is sort of stunned at the sight of the thing, but watches them go at it, "This is hell."

Ari pauses, looking at her gun and then back up towards the behemoth before them, "I have zero clue what's happening and do not know why I was brought along for this ride, just tell me to do something and I can do my job."

The word start continues to flash. It remains still. Roxy tries to bash the screen in with her bat. The bat goes through the start screen and it flashes as if selected. It seems only made of thin light. The dogs wink as a third dog replaces the start button. A screen with a wrapped candy appears and flashes.

"Are we playing some kind of fucked up video game?!?" Ari asks.

"I have no fucking clue actually," Kade watches.

The candy screen hides behind a dog face as the faces start shuffling until the one with the candy hidden behind it ends up on the left. They freeze in place and wink as they wait for a selection.

Roxy steps back to examine, "It's left right?" She points to it, "That one?"

"Why don't we try hypnotizing it first?" Harmonia offers as she looks to Ari.

"Does it even have EYES!?!" Ari exclaims.

"That badger thing didn't and yet you did???" Harmonia explains.

"That thing had something fucking closer to eyes though, can this thing even see?!?"

The dog roxy points to flashes as if selecting it and there's digital confetti and cheering. The candy is revealed as it hides behind another dog face.

"The lights, Ari. Those could probably be its eyes." Claire says.

"No harm in trying?!?" Ari's eyes shift, pulsing bright green and black spirals as xe stands below the behemoth.

"Fuck, uhhh..." Roxy looks at the dog's face and carefully tries picking one at random.

The dog flashes and now where's a top hat as it winks, a turtle on the banner turns into a candy. Screens suddenly appear in a circle around Ari with the same green and black spirals.

"A-" Ari hesitates before her eyes are stuck on the screens.

"ARI CLOSE YOUR EYES-" Harmonia yells.

"What does a fucking top hat mean???" Roxy still watches the main screens.

"And that's why you don't trust hypnotism-" Kade tries to get closer to the bunch to help some. 

Ari is stuck staring. The top hat dog gets a body and starts doing a dance, the turtle eats the candy and hides in its shell. Roxy gets frustrated and hits the screen with her bat, yelling as she does. The bat goes through the screen and everything flickers a moment. the dancing dog frowns. Roxy narrows her eyes and tries stepping through the screen as Claire watches her closely. Roxy is close enough to the beast to feel it's breath. Roxy smiles wide as she readies her NailBat o' Rust, running towards the Slinger's shins and trying to bash them in with her bat.

Kade kinda tries to grab Ari but Claire runs at them to tackle them out of the screens.

Ari is knocked out of the circle of screens, shaking its head and groaning, "Fucking bitch, I'm on board with Roxy now lets kill it."

Roxy's bat dinks off the shin as it's made of metal. It takes a step back and screens surround Claire with the word start flashing. The main set of screens display a fun looking racing game and a wheel. With every screen change are cheesy sound effects. Claire hits the word start as Roxy tries to climb the moose. The moose is covered in thin hairs that make anything that touches it numb. it otherwise lets her. The start screens around Claire switch to a jigsaw puzzle of a happy elephant. The racing game waits for a player.

"Hey aren't we supposed to be getting a tear from it? I don't think we should be playing the game it GIVES us-" Ari watches them.

Roxy's form becomes slightly staticky and glitchy as she tries to use her bat to help her up. Claire plays the jigsaw while putting her foot on the steering wheel of the racing game to see if she can race herself. The wheel is hard to control with her foot but the racing game starts. Another game appears with simple math problems near Claire with happy ducks. Claire tries to use her elbow to do the math as she tries to play the racing game and the jigsaw game.

When Roxy makes it up, she runs along the moose's back and tries to hit the nape of its neck with her bat, attempting to dig it into the flesh.

"No I'm having the time of my life," Claire replies with a genuine laugh and smile.

Ari tries firing a couple more shots at the moose, "Hey your games suck ASS!"

The bat bounces off and the animals look more happy as Claire plays. Everything flickers as one of the bullets bounces off the moose and hits the tip of an antler that breaks off.

Ari yells at Roxy "HEY ROXY, BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE ANTLERS!" Ari begins focusing a few more shots at the antlers. Roxy tries to run along its neck and onto the skull, trying to hit at the antlers. Kade watches with interest.

Chunks of the antlers are being broken off before Ari’s gun clicks, the magazine is empty. All of the animals displayed frown and some have severed limbs fall off of them. All of the games become excessively difficult. The car game begins running over people, the math game turns into calculus problems, and the jigsaw game is breaking into more pieces and now displaying a court order with walls of text.

"Oh just like me," Claire says as she adapts to the games and tries to play them. Roxy keeps hitting, trying to keep the skull intact. Ari reloads and keeps firing at the antler farthest from roxy.

One of the antlers breaks off and the moose begins to buck to get Roxy off. The animals on the screens begin crying. A screen with green and black spirals appears in front of Ari again.

Ari was mentally preparing for this and immediately shut his eyes, "GET ONE OF THOSE FUCKING TEARS THIS BITCH IS REUSING ITS TRICKS-"

Kade cracks his neck, watching "You know, if you need it held down I can handle that."

Roxy runs back to the moose's back as she starts throwing various items from her bag at the antlers. The moose continues to buck even harder. The screens turn to static for a moment. Ari tries blindly running towards the Moose to get out of the screens. Ari runs past the screens but doesn’t open his eyes as they keep running. Roxy falls but tries latching onto one of the hairs. She kicks at the flank of the monster. Ari runs into the leg of the moose as it kicks at Ari with more force than a horse.

"SHIT-" Ari flies back and hits a tree. Her ribs are definitely broken.

Kade cracks his knuckles with a sigh, he flexes just a bit, before he cracks his neck to the side, the usual process as he bursts into a tall gust of warm smoke. Cerberus of another Hell emerges from where Kade once stood. He’s pretty fucking tall as he tries to head over to the moose and grab a hold of it by the antlers.

Ari gives a thumbs up to Cerberus as they stay down, "Go- go get em tiger-" Ari winces.

The antlers as grabbed by Cerb as the moose pulls to try and get them free.

Cerb keeps a firm grasp, trying to pull it towards him, "ANYONE CAPABLE OF HOLDING A BOTTLE?"

The hooves drag in the dirt as it tries to resist. Roxy tries to get back up on the moose's back. Ari winces and stumbles to their feet, trying to shuffle over, there’s a slightly cracked vial in their hand as their other is on their ribs, "I can-"

With no games left to play, Claire runs at the moose to punch the shins of the beast. Claire feels like she punched metal. The moose pulls harder as there's a cracking sound. Cerb keeps trying to pull towards himself, adamantly, taking a step back with his grasp still firm.

Ari makes her way to a screen of light with a crying animal on it. She tries to collect a tear but it doesn’t seem to work. The two antlers Cerb has a hold of suddenly snap off, leaving it with 1 antler left as it stumbles back some. All of the screens loose color and flicker with a static haze

Ari tries to move back, "Not the tears we need-!"

Roxy sits at the base of the neck and holds on to the hairs with one hand as she uses the other to swing her bat at the antler.

"Oops." Cerb holds the two antlers and blinks, dropping them on the ground.

The moose begins bucking wildly. Ari is silently cheering those still fighting as he sits at the base of the tree, holding his ribs. Roxy aims for the final antler by swinging at the base of the antler. Cerb tries to help and pry it off. The moment the last antler snaps off, the screens of light disappear and the bad luck feeling turns to good luck. The moose backs up while breathing heavily. Tears fall from it's eyes. Ari scrambles back up, trying to move closer to the moose with veir vial in hand. The moose slumps onto the ground, tired from all of the fighting. Ari is able to safely get a sample of slightly purple tears

Cerberus backs away as all three of cerberus’s heads go "Yippee!!!!!!"

Dren throws her hands up and cheers with them "yippee!!!"

Roxy is still bashing at the neck, trying to loosen the skull from therest of the body.

Ari gives a hoarse "Yipppeeeeee!...Anyone have a not cracked bottle?"

Dren waddles up with a non cracked veil, "Adulthood really is a zinger huh?"

The skull is starting to crack some as the moose does nothing about it.

Ari carefully pours the tears in, "And what are these for? This isn't like a kirtby thing where we're collecting things for the actual villain or something right?"

"Not for villain, Dren promise," Dren seals the veil. The middle skull Roxy is attacking breaks off.

"Can I get my-" Ari hacks up a bit of blood, "Soul back?" A bit of a shit eating grin.

"No" Dren still smiles "Very much thanks, now the door to hell is accessible! Yippee!!!"

Cerb sits down, watching the others. Roxy jumps down and takes the skull, trying but failing to pick it up due it’s sheer size, "MINE."

Claire looks to Dren, "Can we explore Hell? That a thing we can do? I'm kind of curious."

Dren nods to Claire, "Can now! But careful, zingers and divulgars call it home."

"How soon can we explore?" Claire asks as Roxy sits on top of the skull. Roxy teleports the skull into her house.

Cole appears next to Ari and stares at them, "Did someone have a uhoh boingo?"

Ari rolls her eyes, "Fuck offff-"

"Do you want me to heal you or not you whore?" Cole crosses his arms.

The large moose rests its heads on the ground with a huff.

Ari sighs, "I do, yes."

Cerb moves over to give the moose head pats.

Cole smirks slightly and heals Ari, "there, now remember to drink water."

The moose leans into the pats as its short tail wags.

Ari rolls her eyes, "Okay, dad."

"i mean some people do call me da-" Cole is cut off suddenly, "anyways."

Roxy and Claire teleport back to Claire's house.

"OK, time to go, shoo shoo go bye bye nowww. go shoo, Dren has a poker card game to get to," Dren is making a shooing motion at anyone still around. Ari disappears.

"you play poker?" Cole comments before he disappears.

"I don't just play poker, poker gets played-" Dren smiles as she waddles away. Cerberus is alone with the moose. He gives the moose some more scratches before disappearing in a gust of smoke.

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